Sunday, April 8, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
A Plan, Patience, & Prayers (An update from Ryan)
Hello friends and family. We can’t thank you enough for your continued prayers! We truly do feel lifted up by our brothers and sisters, and somewhat strong through a circumstance that is draining in many aspects. Kenzie had her catheterization on Wednesday and there were both pros and cons that were taken away. The reason for going in was both diagnostic and also hopefully looking to treat the ductus arteriosis (a duct/opening that we are all born with but closes within 24-48 hours after birth). Even though they weren’t able to treat her during the cath procedure, the good news is that we know exactly how her heart responds to the situation and the ductus needs to remain open as it stands, and that surgery is the best route for her.
We haven’t met with the surgeon yet but plan to tomorrow. Others on his team have informed us that Kenzie is tentatively scheduled for next Wednesday the 11th in the morning. One of two surgeries will take place. First, they may try to repair the tricuspid valve if at all possible. This is the preferred route but probably the more difficult of the two. The second will be inserting a shunt, while closing the tricuspid valve completely, turning Kenzie’s heart into a 3 chamber heart instead of a 4 chamber heart. Which path they choose will be a game-time decision once the surgeon is able to see everything with his own two eyes.
Based on Kenzie’s heart condition we sort of knew that she would require surgery. But after spending the last few weeks with this little one, we love her so much and our hearts and prayers flow constantly for God’s healing. We trust God completely— knowing that He is all-powerful and in complete control, perfectly capable of healing her. We appreciate your continued prayers for God’s healing, but ultimately that His will be done! We know that this little girl has a great purpose in life, as do we, as do you, and God wants to use all of this to minister to those who are struggling in their faith or don’t believe in God at all. Our LifeGroup bought us a care package which included a book we read to Kenzie each night called “Bedtime Prayers.” In this book one of the chapters starts by quoting Jeremiah 1:5 in a kid version saying “I chose you. Before you were born, I set your apart for a special work.”
Kenzie has changed our lives and to God be the glory! We pray that her life (a long life on this earth) is the path He chooses to receive that glory, but His will be done! Despite the circumstances, we serve a good, gracious, loving God and we appreciate each of you acting as advocates for lifting up our sweet little girl in prayer to Him! We feel God’s love through your prayers, support, and encouragement! For that WE ARE BLESSED!
Love you all!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Baby Kenzie Is Here!!
This is going to be a "messy" update b/c I want to type as fast as I can so that I can get back to the bedside to hold the hand of my PRECIOUS baby girl!! I'm sitting here on a couch staring at the MOST beautiful creation I've ever seen (as I'm sure any mom would say) and I'm just completely in awe of God's craftsmanship and perfect detail. We are SOOOO thankful to be where we are right now with Kenzie, and we're constantly lifting her up in prayer for healing. We wish we could call each of you up individually who have been praying for her and tell you HOW THANKFUL we are for you and for your love and concern for her. We definitely believe God has been hearing those prayers, and we have so much to be grateful for thus far, although there's still a lot ahead.
So quick recap on how we got to this point:
We went in last Monday for our weekly ultrasound check and who would have known that about 18 hours later we'd have a little one! During this ultrasound, the doctors determined that her placenta wasn't providing enough nutrition and that it would be better for her to come out. Although this was really scary to hear b/c she was only 35 weeks and 3 days old, God provided us with a definite peace throughout the whole process. We know that so many of you were praying and for that we CANNOT thank you enough! We received your texts and later saw facebook messages which was sooo incredible and comforting to read! We were definitely afraid, but family and friends were right there by our side to help us out.
It was always a fear that she wouldn't tolerate labor well with her heart conditions. Fortunately, God watched over her and she was perfect throughout the whole time. After 15 hours of labor (eww) and only 6 pushes (yay!) she was out and in the hands of the NICU team to stabilize her. Being that we didn't know if her lungs would be developed enough for her to survive, the fact that we heard two little cries before she was intubated was the best sound we've ever heard. It took several hours to stabilize her, but she did well and God protected her. She was wheeled into our room not long after so I could see her and then Ryan, my dad, and Kenzie went off to Nationwide Children's. I was kept at the hospital for two more days to recover, which was pretty torturous as I was dying to see her. I finally got to see her on Thursday, which was the most wonderful thing ever to see her precious face and hold her little hand. It's sort of difficult to tell what she looks like with all the puffiness and everything attached to her face, but to give you an idea, she's basically Ryan's mini-me in female form!
Since that time, she's been stable (YAY!) and is doing well awaiting a surgical plan for her heart. She is hooked up to a ventilator at all times as well as about 50 million other things. I'm not going to lie--it's extremely difficult seeing her connected to all these things, but I know it's for the best. But it's all Ryan and I can do not to snatch her up and kiss her all over...she's so sweet.
We are amazed at the staff and the care she received from minute one up to date. Everyone is absolutely wonderful and pays such close attention to detail. They monitor EVERYTHING you can possibly think of, and if just one little thing goes off base, they tend to it immediately. Overall, her stats are very good as of now. Her little heart is beating perfectly and her oxygen saturation levels are on the high end. Thank the Lord!!! When she was first stabilized, her oxygen saturation was very low, so it's a definite blessing that it climbed and has remained stable since. She is actually on a very low level of oxygen, which is great. When she initially got here, there was a concern with her lactate buildup, but thankfully that went down within one day.
The past week has been exhausting but absolutely amazing as we have the immense privilege of being with our little girl all day long. There's absolutely no where else we'd rather be and every second is a complete and total joy. I could seriously just stare at her for hours. We've changed diapers, read her books, talked to her non-stop (even when she's sedated), and yesterday we even got to hold her for the first time. This was definitely the best feeling in the whole entire world. And today, her swelling went down for a short period of time which allowed her to finally open her little eyes. It was SOO fun to see them open as they've been swelled shut the entire time except when she first got here. She's the sweetest, most precious thing we've ever known and we're sooo thankful to have this time with her.
Ok so that's a condensed recap of how we got here, and we just found out today she will be having a procedure tomorrow at 1pm. Up to date, the doctors have been taking it slow to see how she does and to allow her little body to work. She's sort of been in an in-between state thus far. Tomorrow will be the first step in fixing her heart. When Kenzie was first born, she received a medication to keep her ductus from closing as would happen in a "normal" birth a short time following delivery. It has yet to close, which could be due to her prematurity, or other factors, but they need to see what happens when it closes. So tomorrow she will be going to the cath lab to have a catheter taken up through her leg to her heart. They will use a balloon to temporarily close off the ductus to determine how her heart reacts. If it reacts well, they will insert a piece to keep it closed permanently, but if it doesn't react well, they will insert a stint to keep it open.
The risk of this procedure is not extremely high, but I must admit I'm still scared to death. She's already gone through so much, and as a mommy, it absolutely breaks my heart to think of her going through anything else. So friends and family if we could ask you to pray yet again, please pray for this procedure!! Please pray that it would go perfectly with no complications and that they would be able to determine what works best for her heart in regards to this ductus being open or closed. Please also pray for her heart to tolerate the ductus being closed so that the blood flow would be increased without the need for highly invasive surgery. This is not very likely, but we know our God is capable of anything! Also, these are smaller requests, but please pray that her edema (swelling) would go down so that the sweet thing can open her eyes and so that her body would be more comfortable. Also, she was more awake today and her little face kept showing distress in terms of discomfort from her ventilator tube, so please pray that she would be completely comfy and content with no pain or agitation. Thank you!!!
We've already received SOOOO much love and support from family and friends throughout this process and there is absolutely NO WAY we could do this without you! THANK YOU to each one of you!! I'll try to do a better job of updating this... it's so hard to be away from the peanut for more than a few minutes at a time!! Love you all and can't thank you enough!!! Here's a few pics!
So quick recap on how we got to this point:
We went in last Monday for our weekly ultrasound check and who would have known that about 18 hours later we'd have a little one! During this ultrasound, the doctors determined that her placenta wasn't providing enough nutrition and that it would be better for her to come out. Although this was really scary to hear b/c she was only 35 weeks and 3 days old, God provided us with a definite peace throughout the whole process. We know that so many of you were praying and for that we CANNOT thank you enough! We received your texts and later saw facebook messages which was sooo incredible and comforting to read! We were definitely afraid, but family and friends were right there by our side to help us out.
It was always a fear that she wouldn't tolerate labor well with her heart conditions. Fortunately, God watched over her and she was perfect throughout the whole time. After 15 hours of labor (eww) and only 6 pushes (yay!) she was out and in the hands of the NICU team to stabilize her. Being that we didn't know if her lungs would be developed enough for her to survive, the fact that we heard two little cries before she was intubated was the best sound we've ever heard. It took several hours to stabilize her, but she did well and God protected her. She was wheeled into our room not long after so I could see her and then Ryan, my dad, and Kenzie went off to Nationwide Children's. I was kept at the hospital for two more days to recover, which was pretty torturous as I was dying to see her. I finally got to see her on Thursday, which was the most wonderful thing ever to see her precious face and hold her little hand. It's sort of difficult to tell what she looks like with all the puffiness and everything attached to her face, but to give you an idea, she's basically Ryan's mini-me in female form!
Since that time, she's been stable (YAY!) and is doing well awaiting a surgical plan for her heart. She is hooked up to a ventilator at all times as well as about 50 million other things. I'm not going to lie--it's extremely difficult seeing her connected to all these things, but I know it's for the best. But it's all Ryan and I can do not to snatch her up and kiss her all over...she's so sweet.
We are amazed at the staff and the care she received from minute one up to date. Everyone is absolutely wonderful and pays such close attention to detail. They monitor EVERYTHING you can possibly think of, and if just one little thing goes off base, they tend to it immediately. Overall, her stats are very good as of now. Her little heart is beating perfectly and her oxygen saturation levels are on the high end. Thank the Lord!!! When she was first stabilized, her oxygen saturation was very low, so it's a definite blessing that it climbed and has remained stable since. She is actually on a very low level of oxygen, which is great. When she initially got here, there was a concern with her lactate buildup, but thankfully that went down within one day.
The past week has been exhausting but absolutely amazing as we have the immense privilege of being with our little girl all day long. There's absolutely no where else we'd rather be and every second is a complete and total joy. I could seriously just stare at her for hours. We've changed diapers, read her books, talked to her non-stop (even when she's sedated), and yesterday we even got to hold her for the first time. This was definitely the best feeling in the whole entire world. And today, her swelling went down for a short period of time which allowed her to finally open her little eyes. It was SOO fun to see them open as they've been swelled shut the entire time except when she first got here. She's the sweetest, most precious thing we've ever known and we're sooo thankful to have this time with her.
Ok so that's a condensed recap of how we got here, and we just found out today she will be having a procedure tomorrow at 1pm. Up to date, the doctors have been taking it slow to see how she does and to allow her little body to work. She's sort of been in an in-between state thus far. Tomorrow will be the first step in fixing her heart. When Kenzie was first born, she received a medication to keep her ductus from closing as would happen in a "normal" birth a short time following delivery. It has yet to close, which could be due to her prematurity, or other factors, but they need to see what happens when it closes. So tomorrow she will be going to the cath lab to have a catheter taken up through her leg to her heart. They will use a balloon to temporarily close off the ductus to determine how her heart reacts. If it reacts well, they will insert a piece to keep it closed permanently, but if it doesn't react well, they will insert a stint to keep it open.
The risk of this procedure is not extremely high, but I must admit I'm still scared to death. She's already gone through so much, and as a mommy, it absolutely breaks my heart to think of her going through anything else. So friends and family if we could ask you to pray yet again, please pray for this procedure!! Please pray that it would go perfectly with no complications and that they would be able to determine what works best for her heart in regards to this ductus being open or closed. Please also pray for her heart to tolerate the ductus being closed so that the blood flow would be increased without the need for highly invasive surgery. This is not very likely, but we know our God is capable of anything! Also, these are smaller requests, but please pray that her edema (swelling) would go down so that the sweet thing can open her eyes and so that her body would be more comfortable. Also, she was more awake today and her little face kept showing distress in terms of discomfort from her ventilator tube, so please pray that she would be completely comfy and content with no pain or agitation. Thank you!!!
We've already received SOOOO much love and support from family and friends throughout this process and there is absolutely NO WAY we could do this without you! THANK YOU to each one of you!! I'll try to do a better job of updating this... it's so hard to be away from the peanut for more than a few minutes at a time!! Love you all and can't thank you enough!!! Here's a few pics!
 |
| Holding Daddy's hand |
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| Huggin' her bunny |
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| "Holding" her as much as I can |
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| Reading a sweet book from Life Group |
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| Talking to my angel |
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| The best moment ever! |
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| With Daddy! |
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| Beautiful eyes! |
Thursday, March 8, 2012
March 8, 2012
This week has been a crazy rollercoaster of ups & downs and twists & turns. Based on the info from our last post, our optimism regarding Kenzie's future was definitely on the upswing (and rightfully so). The Lord's faithfulness in the healing and improvement of her pulmonary valve and in the growth of her pulmonary arteries was definitely a huge blessing and encouragement to us. In fact, this past weekend Carter's was having a sale and I even went a little crazy buying all sorts of cute baby clothes. Fortunately Ryan didn't mind. ;)
Well midway through this week we definitely hit a "bump in the road." As we had been advised, we recently sent Kenzie's info off to a couple different hospitals who are well known for their cardiac programs. We heard back from both places and the feedback we receieved was pretty tough to swallow to say the least. To make a long story short, they basically informed us that (according to their opinions) Kenzie is on such a severe side of the Ebstein's spectrum that her chances of survival are much, much lower than we thought. They pointed out all the major issues they noticed and how the rarity and severity of her condition was pretty detrimental. They offered us little hope. Needless to say, this news was devastating. Just as we thought things were looking up, it seemed everything came crashing down again. I think I was more upset at hearing these things than when we first found out about her condition.
Tired of the ups and downs and feeling as if we could't take any more disappointment and sadness, the thought of giving up hope certainly crossed my mind. But I quickly realized that this isn't what God calls us to do and it isn't what Kenzie deserves. We've been saying all along that we're trusting God with her life and understand that she rests in His hands alone. So how can we allow man's opinion to change our trust and faith that He's the one in control, not the doctors? As our family reminded us, God doesn't work off of odds and statistics. He can work with 0% chance, so we certainly can't give up the hope that He can heal our little one. The phrase kept repeating itself in my mind that "until her heart stops beating, I will look forward to her with full joy and expectancy." And of course will continue to constantly pray for her healing and protection. Plus, if she is okay, we want her to know that we never, ever gave up on her.
The Bible tells us that God promises His peace to those who belong to Him and present their requests to Him (Philippians 4:6-8). This morning while we were getting ready for our appointment with the surgeon from Columbus, it was clear that God definitely flooded us with this peace. We knew that regardless of what we were told today by the surgeon, we could trust in Him and had no reason to "be anxious about anything."
Although He of course didn't have to, God in His total graciousness provided us with a ray of sunshine when we met with the doctor this morning. Although the surgeon recognized the same issues brought up by the other hospitals, his overall optimism regarding her situation was so refreshing. While the other hospitals pointed out all the problems they saw, this doctor pointed out all the favorable signs he observed and gave us many options for what they could do to fix her heart. We appreciated the fact that he didn't try to pigeon-hole her situation and say for certain what was going to happen to her. He was humble enough to admit that they don't give absolute assessments at this point in time because they never actually know how a baby will do once he/she is born. He told us that regardless of what her situation is when she is born, they can do something to help. He even told us that it's possible she won't need surgery until a few months down the road. (Best case scenario, but hey, we'll take it!) This information not only encouraged us, but confirmed that we are definitely in the right place and he is definitely the right one to perform her surgery. We are grateful to be in Columbus!
Although this news was a blessing and a half, we are continuing to place her in God's hands alone. If nothing else, the events of this past week served to remind us that our peace and joy shouldn't come from our earthly circumstances, but from the knowledge that we belong to Him and that He is in control of all things.
Well midway through this week we definitely hit a "bump in the road." As we had been advised, we recently sent Kenzie's info off to a couple different hospitals who are well known for their cardiac programs. We heard back from both places and the feedback we receieved was pretty tough to swallow to say the least. To make a long story short, they basically informed us that (according to their opinions) Kenzie is on such a severe side of the Ebstein's spectrum that her chances of survival are much, much lower than we thought. They pointed out all the major issues they noticed and how the rarity and severity of her condition was pretty detrimental. They offered us little hope. Needless to say, this news was devastating. Just as we thought things were looking up, it seemed everything came crashing down again. I think I was more upset at hearing these things than when we first found out about her condition.
Tired of the ups and downs and feeling as if we could't take any more disappointment and sadness, the thought of giving up hope certainly crossed my mind. But I quickly realized that this isn't what God calls us to do and it isn't what Kenzie deserves. We've been saying all along that we're trusting God with her life and understand that she rests in His hands alone. So how can we allow man's opinion to change our trust and faith that He's the one in control, not the doctors? As our family reminded us, God doesn't work off of odds and statistics. He can work with 0% chance, so we certainly can't give up the hope that He can heal our little one. The phrase kept repeating itself in my mind that "until her heart stops beating, I will look forward to her with full joy and expectancy." And of course will continue to constantly pray for her healing and protection. Plus, if she is okay, we want her to know that we never, ever gave up on her.
The Bible tells us that God promises His peace to those who belong to Him and present their requests to Him (Philippians 4:6-8). This morning while we were getting ready for our appointment with the surgeon from Columbus, it was clear that God definitely flooded us with this peace. We knew that regardless of what we were told today by the surgeon, we could trust in Him and had no reason to "be anxious about anything."
Although He of course didn't have to, God in His total graciousness provided us with a ray of sunshine when we met with the doctor this morning. Although the surgeon recognized the same issues brought up by the other hospitals, his overall optimism regarding her situation was so refreshing. While the other hospitals pointed out all the problems they saw, this doctor pointed out all the favorable signs he observed and gave us many options for what they could do to fix her heart. We appreciated the fact that he didn't try to pigeon-hole her situation and say for certain what was going to happen to her. He was humble enough to admit that they don't give absolute assessments at this point in time because they never actually know how a baby will do once he/she is born. He told us that regardless of what her situation is when she is born, they can do something to help. He even told us that it's possible she won't need surgery until a few months down the road. (Best case scenario, but hey, we'll take it!) This information not only encouraged us, but confirmed that we are definitely in the right place and he is definitely the right one to perform her surgery. We are grateful to be in Columbus!
Although this news was a blessing and a half, we are continuing to place her in God's hands alone. If nothing else, the events of this past week served to remind us that our peace and joy shouldn't come from our earthly circumstances, but from the knowledge that we belong to Him and that He is in control of all things.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
March 1, 2012
God in his complete graciousness has continued to protect Kenzie over the past two weeks and we are SO thankful!!!
We've had two appointments at Riverside since our last echo and as of now she's still cookin' in the oven! Both appointments revealed her situation to be stable with the fluid volume remaining the same. They also haven't found additional fluid elsewhere in her body, which is absolutely wonderful. Her heart size was a little larger at today's appointment, but the doctor informed us this was not uncommon as she gets further along. We're still definitely praying for her heart to decrease in size to allow her lungs space to develop.
We did, however, receive some exciting news today. The doctor was clearly able to see a significant amount of blood moving FORWARD in her pulmonary arteries!! My sister (who was at the appointment with me) and I were easily able to see it too! SO blessed by this news and incredibly grateful to see "red" (forward blood) on the ultrasound!
Next Thursday we will have the opportunity to meet the surgeon and ask any questions we have regarding Kenzie's possible surgeries. Of course, they won't know until she's born what exactly needs to be done, but we're really looking forward to meeting him and hopefully we'll come away with a better understanding. But as always, we know that God is in control and that He is the one who will decide what happens to her little heart! So we will continue praying for a full recovery, as well as no more fluid build-up, increased function in the tricuspid and pulmonary valves, complete development of her lungs, and decreased heart size.
As my sister-in-law put it, T minus 6 weeks and counting… excited to see what the Lord has in store for this little one!
Saturday, February 18, 2012
An Answer to Prayer
As mentioned in the previous post, we had our 30 week appointment with the Pediatric Cardiologist this past Thursday. This was something we had been anticipating for quite some time as we knew it would be more telltale of Kenzie’s status at birth. Well… we are VERY excited to say that we were COMPLETELY blessed by the news we received!! To be honest, it’s still sinking in! There is absolutely no doubt in our minds that God is doing something incredible and has begun healing Kenzie’s sweet little heart.
To quickly recap…
After the nurse finished performing our echocardiogram, the same doctor we saw 10 weeks ago came in to update us on what he observed (he was watching from a separate room). He started out by letting us know that her Pulmonary Atresia (un-functioning pulmonary valve) isn’t atretic anymore! WHAT!? This was ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE to hear because it means that although it is not functioning normally at the moment, it IS functioning and at least capable of moving. Although the doctor observed blood going backwards through the valve, the fact that the valve is moving at all is a substantial leap from where it was 10 weeks ago when it was completely stationary. What an AMAZING answer to prayer! In fact, in our last post, we mentioned this EXACT thing: “We are praying with all that is within us that she would be completely healed. Imagine what a shock that would be to the doctors! But if not completely, we’re praying that they find that her pulmonary valve would be somewhat functional to allow some blood flow through to her lungs.”
Well if that isn’t a direct answer to prayer then I don’t know what is! And God being the one “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine,” (Eph. 3:20) didn’t even stop there! The doctor proceeded to tell us that although her pulmonary arteries haven’t been receiving nearly enough blood to develop, SOMEHOW they are growing and developing! (Hmmm, I wonder how!?) ;) He even said that they are on the small side of normal. This is an AMAZING blessing because it means that these absolutely necessary arteries are most likely capable of transporting blood to her lungs. YAY!!! We were SOOO pumped to hear this! As if that all wasn’t enough to make it a good day, he also informed us that her Epstein’s Anomaly (defective tricuspid valve) isn’t as severe as they suspected it to be based on our appointment 2 months ago. Overall, it is still a very serious case, but the doctor said her outcome looked more favorable than the last time he saw us!!! AWESOME!!
As for her heart size, it is still enlarged and still has fluid around it, but the status has remained the same since our last visit. We’re continuing to pray for healing in her tricuspid and pulmonary valves, that her heart would decrease in size, and that the fluid build-up would subside. From this point on we’ll go to maternal-fetal once a week to check the status of her heart size and fluid. If they see any signs of distress, she’ll be taken out immediately. We’re praying that she can remain stable for the next 8 weeks so that she can be as strong and developed as possible!
We can’t even come close to adequately expressing our gratitude for all the prayers that have been said on behalf of Kenzie up to this point. We are 100% certain that this is not a mere coincidence or an inexplicable improvement, but the hand of God working in the life of our little girl. THANK YOU for your faithful prayers!!!
God is so good! Love you all!!
Monday, February 13, 2012
Upcoming Appointment...
We humbly ask for your prayers for our appointment this coming Thursday, February 16. We have our second echocardiogram with the cardiothoracic specialist to determine where Kenzie stands in terms of her heart abnormalities. The last time we met with this doctor, she was 20 weeks old and it was at this point that he discovered her Pulmonary Atresia. At that time she was too little to determine how things would look down the road. They didn’t know how much fluid build-up she would have, how large her heart would get, or whether or not her valve situation would worsen or stay the same. Now that she’s 30 weeks, they are going to take an in-depth look to re-assess her heart and determine a plan of action for how to address what they find. We are praying with all that is within us that she would be completely healed. Imagine what a shock that would be to the doctors! But if not completely, we’re praying that they find that her pulmonary valve would be somewhat functional to allow some blood flow through to her lungs. We’re also praying for wisdom for the doctor who will be assessing her situation and for peace and strength to handle whatever news we are given. As always, we can’t thank you enough for your love and prayers towards us and our precious baby girl!
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